I swore last week I wouldn’t write a single word about the election. The whole topic was making my head explode.
But today I’m caving in.
Why? Because when ignorant people publicly rip my favorite newspaper merely because of their own ignorance, they need to be slapped around.
At 9:37 on the morning after the election, a Facebook fan of radio megastar Ed Esposito typed this on Ed’s timeline:
“I noticed that the Beacon Journal couldn’t come to grips with outcome of this presidential election in this morning’s edition. I’m ready to cancel the goddam thing if they can’t give me objective news over their front page opinions.”
He was talking about our banner headline:
“Trump nears narrow win.”
You know why it didn’t say “Trump wins”? Deadlines. You can’t print and deliver a newspaper instantaneously. And no newspaper wants to reprise the famous photo of President-elect Harry Truman holding up the front page of the Chicago Daily Tribune showing the headline “DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN.”
In stark contrast to our headline, the Plain Dealer delivered this to Summit County readers:
“Too close to call.”
Wow, they must really hate Trump!
Ah ... no. The PD’s deadlines for Summit County are earlier than ours.
Ghost hunt
Among the books that arrived in our Features Department last week was 1,000 Places to See Before You Die.
Hot off the presses, it is the “Updated Third Edition” of a New York Times Bestseller.
Methinks it needs more updating.
On Page 564, readers are told that “the National Inventors’ Hall of Fame can be found in Akron.”
Nope. It folded in 2008.
If you are determined to see it before you die, you will die trying.
TV warriors
Bless you, Hudson Hub and your police reports.
“Assisted living patients clash over TV: Police were called to a West Streetsboro Street assisted living facility shortly before 11:30 p.m. after two residents ... became angry over what to watch on TV.
“According to police, one man hit another in the face with a cane. The man who was hit in the face with the cane went to the kitchen area to retrieve a ‘butter knife,’ according to police.
“The man with the butter knife ‘verbally challenged’ the man who hit him.
“The nursing staff broke up the fight.
“The men, both in wheelchairs, were taken to separate parts of the facility for the night. There were no charges.”
Next up: UFC matches between people in walkers, refereed by their physical therapists.
Strange name
Did you watch the whole TV feed of the Cavs’ visit to the White House last week? Fun stuff.
The prez seemed to know every nuance about the team and the season, joking about LeBron tearing the sleeves on his jersey one game, J.R. Smith walking off the return flight from the championship shirtless and even Shump’s hair — said he missed “the MacGyver flat top.”
(Me, too. When I asked Shump during media day why he had drifted away from the look that made him famous, he said it takes too long to prepare.)
But when it came to Obama making a nod to the home team’s governor ... not so much.
“We’ve got a lot of big Cavs fans in the house,” he said, “including Ohio’s governor, John Kasich, and his daughters, Emma and Reese.”
Nice touch. Problem was, instead of pronouncing it “Kay-sick,” the prez called him “Kay-sitch.”
Apparently, Kasich’s aborted presidential campaign didn’t fully register with the man whose job he was trying to take.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31